Van Jones the Czar – A Simple Solution

What a pickle. Right at a time that once invincible popularity ratings are cratering faster than the stock market was one year ago, and right at a time when his two most significant legislative agenda items (socialized health care, and “cap-and-tax”) are taking major blows on a daily basis, President Obama now has a most unwelcome nuisance to deal with: The revelation that his latest “czar” appointment (this one is the “Green Jobs Czar”, and no, I am not joking with you) is a “9/11 Truther”, which is the term we have given in society to “those who lie about 9/11”. Yes, Czar Jones once joined the ranks of those delightful people in our society who believe not only that the prior administration killed 3,000 people on 9/11/01 on purpose, but has since gotten away with it (because, as you know, everything else they tried to do also went so very smoothly). I wish the “kill 3,000 people on 9/11” executive committee had been re-assigned to the “privatize social security team”, or “find a weapon of mass destruction in Iraq” team, but perhaps they took the golden watch and were already in the new Family RV when those positions were being filled. I digress. I don’t need to spend a lot of time making fun of the deranged lunatics that hatefully spew this idiocy. And frankly, I don’t need to spend a lot of time arguing that Czar Van Jones ought to resign just for this incident. Yes, I believe playing nice with the “9/11 truthers” is a disqualifying offense. If it is any consolation, I not only believe it disqualified one from most czar jobs, but I also think it ought to disqualify them from any job that involves being around children or pets or food as well.

But let me add a little color to this story. I hear that Czar Van Jones will not resign over this 9/11 issue. And I also hear that his extraordinary and dangerous radicalism, his anti-war extremism, his career of America-hatred, and his overt hatred of capitalism are also not enough (even when combined together) to get him to resign. I only see one strategy left: He should resign, because we need a Green Jobs Czar like we need a good kick in the head. I think every single czar that this present administration has appointed should resign in protest of the very existence of czars in a country called “America”. This way, Van Jones can go back to leading “Bush lied, people died” rallies, and the other various czars can look for open positions in Eastern European countries who are trying to find their way.

I agree – the only thing worse than a “Green Jobs Czar”, is a “Green Jobs Czar who thinks America planned 9/11”. But once we get rid of the latter, is there any chance we can avoid replacing him with another one of the former?