Goldman Sachs Killed JFK

CNBC displayed the following letter from a viewer this morning:

“I can’t sell my house at all. I want to but there are no customers here. I have lost about $70,000 in the market. Who did this to me? Goldman Sachs did!!!!” – Margaret in Arizona

This is not quite at the level of the famous YouTube excerpt where the woman exclaims that she was excited for Obama to become President because she would no longer have to make her car payment or house payment, but it is close.

Look, Margaret in Arizona is right. Goldman Sachs caused the price of her home to go down when she paid $70,000 more than her house was worth to buy it. They skillfully enabled millions of Americans to voluntarily lie about their income and take on a house payment that was roughly 75% of their real monthly earnings. Goldman positioned all this beautifully – so beautifully that they lost billions of dollars – on degenerates who lie, cheat, and steal for a living and now blame the most obvious culprit out there. To blame Uncle Sam for pushing home ownership like a social gospel is silly. To blame Fannie and Freddie for leveraging their book 100-to-1 and enabling thousands of banks to decide “banking” was the business of lending to people who will not pay back is ludicrous. Goldman Sachs. They did it.

And, Margaret in Arizona, they also made Pets.com go out of business. They also conspired to ruin the business model of typewriter companies. The ugly emerald earrings your husband bought you in 1979 are worth a fraction of what they once were because of Goldman’s “short-the-emerald-stone” division. Goldman was single-handedly involved in your son’s decision to wreck the family car. They have creatively brought down the public school system. Their fingerprints are all over the new coke decision of the 1980’s. And we all know they came up with the idea for Michael Dukakis to pose in a tank in 1988. I am just waiting for the final chapter to come out:

“Goldman Sachs responsible for the JFK assassination”